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Pensive Musings

As a cacophony of thoughts rage through my mind, I skeptically seek a measure solace by attempting their utterance forthwith.

Yesterday someone told me that the recently popular song, "Break Your Heart," by Taio Cruz is "my song." That is to say, it is the song that best describes me. The implication being I am a heart breaker. I was initially somewhat taken aback by this, as I've never worn such a label before. Then I thought through life, and indeed, I have broken a number of hearts. As I consider those instances, a startling common denominator emerged.

In almost every case, the reason I broke someone's heart was because I was concerned about doing what was right--doing God's will as He revealed it to me. Then I questioned, is right-doing is most often the cause of immediate pain and suffering? The more I consider it, the more I begin to think so. Interestingly enough, in the times when I have been most concerned about doing what is right, I have broken the most hearts, while alternatively, when I am least concerned about right-doing, few if any broken hearts fall in my wake. Am I to conclude the more care I take, the more hearts I break? It would appear so.

As I am now only consciously considering this, I turn to look at the past few weeks of my life to discover that my subconscious mind has already considered it and taken a "remedial" course of action. I find myself caring less, restraining myself less, and consequently breaking hearts less. Problem solved?

No.

While it would appear that everyone is happy now, appearances are deceitful. The conscience remains active and vocal. I attempt to silence it with arguments, but it will not be hushed. The voice that speaks within me asks me who I am. Since when have I been one to travel the course of least resistance? Since when has apathy been a foundational element of my life's philosophy? Never. So why now?

Am I truly happy?

I don't know. I try to reconcile doing what's right and hurting others, or not caring, and everyone being happy, and ask myself what the responsible thing to do is. No answer comes. What say you?

Be Clean

“And behold, a leper came and worshiped him, saying, Lord, if You will, You can make me clean. And Jesus put out His hand and touched him, saying, I will; be clean! And immediately his leprosy was cleansed.” – Matthew 8:2, 3 (MKJV)

Leprosy was considered the curse of God. All who had leprosy were believed to have committed some great sin for which God was punishing them, and they were banished from contact with their families, friends, and all who did not have leprosy. The stigma associated with the disease must have had a dejecting influence on any person who contracted it.

The Bible doesn’t tell us how long this man who Jesus healed had leprosy, but no matter how long he had suffered from it, certainly he was tormented night and day by thoughts of the sins of his past just as he was tormented by the pain of the disease that ate his life away. Then he heard of Jesus. Many said that not only could Jesus heal the sick, but He could forgive sins. Oh, the struggle that raged in this leper’s mind. He knew that he could receive healing for his body and forgiveness for his sin, but he wavered.

For so long he had felt the revilement of people who looked at him, judging him a sinner and shunning him from their presence with shouts and stones as if he were some kind of rabid animal. Would Jesus be the same way? Jesus was so holy, so righteous, and so pure. Would Jesus even have anything to do with him? When finally he determined to let nothing stop him, he at once sought Jesus. So determined he was that the insults, curses, and stones hurled at him by the crowds did not stop him as he hastened to the place where Jesus was. He stopped wavering, went directly to Jesus, and knelt, begging for forgiveness, cleansing, and purity.

Many, today, waver in the same way. They think that their sins are too great or that their conditions are too revolting. They see Jesus, the pure, holy, righteous one, and they hear of how he changes lives, making wrongs right and forgiving the past. But having dealt so long with unforgiving, judgmental people, they question whether or not the love of Jesus will be extended to them—especially if they have already been forgiven and have fallen back into sin. If these poor souls will only determine to bring themselves to Jesus, to fall to their knees in prayer, and worship Him, saying, “Lord, if You will, You can make me clean.” They will hear the voice of Jesus say, “I will. Be clean!”

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